Grandma was a General of Love

I’ve been hesitating to write this post now for nearly 3 months. Mainly because it pertains to one of the most amazing and loving women to ever grace my life. I was blessed to have known her for the 27 years I did. But let me start from the beginning.

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My grandma Geraldine Royster Creasy was what I would describe as a General of Love. If there was an army and it’s sole purpose was to love and help others, then my grandmother would be the general. For my entire life she was so full of life and full of undying love. Even when it wasn’t to her benefit she loved all. It didn’t matter what race, sexual orientation, religion or gender, when you walked through those doors you were family. Many of my friends can lay claim to being an “adopted” grandchild.

She only had one child, that child was my dad. She had him young so she was younger (50s) when I was born. I was named after her. I carry her name with pride. When I was little she taught me how to garden, cook, and various other things I’ve been able to use in my adulthood. I can remember spending the night over her house on weekends, and eating pizza and playing games with her as a little boy. She used to baby sit me after school, and made sure my homework was done, and that I had my after school snack, which usually meant a true lunch because I absolutely hated school food.

When I went to high school I was a little sad that I wasn’t going to be baby sat by her and go to Old Mill High. I’d now have the responsibility of using what I learned to come home, cook my own food and make sure my chores were done before my parents came home from work. But I always called. She became one of my best friends. She believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself, and that continued when I went off to college.

What can I say in college I was a wild one. I spent most of the year partying and doing things I shouldn’t have been doing. About the only thing I cared about was competing in Track and Field and weekend partying, but my grandma judgment free stayed on top of me, and kept me within the grasp of safety. She would warn me against my behavior, and to stay focused. Unfortunately it wasn’t until I came home from school that year and moved in with her that those words made sense. Ultimately those words led me to my faith, and the reformation of my life.

For the last 5 years, I had lived with her. It was a blessing. I got to know her in a different light. She could be sassy, and very upfront, but she did everything with love. From countless Christmas and Thanksgiving dinners, to me sitting on the edge of her bed at night pouring out my heart, my grandma loved me.

Sometimes I find myself regretting not being home more, or just watching one more western with her. I find myself wishing I could just have an hour of her time, or one more fried chicken dinner. Watching our show “Big Brother” sometimes doesn’t seem as fulfilling because she’s not hear to talk smack about the contestants in her Geraldine way.

But one thing is for certain…. I know she’s watching over me. I know she is up there with our family and her husband, and she’s having the time of her life. See I know it was her time. I think in a way I could tell. The seemingly active grandma of my youth was now less active, and more tired. I remember hearing her say she was just “tired” in those last weeks. It hit me my grandma wasn’t young anymore….

I had always dreamed that my children would one day know just how amazing she truly was. That I could repay her for loving by letting her love the product of me. To be a great grandma. I had prayed that one day they would know “grandma” and love grandma the way I loved her. The thought of that not happening deeply saddened me, but I have faith. Faith that somehow up there she’s able to teach them all the qualities of being a strong Royster. All the qualities of being a loving human being. I hope and pray that they will know her in the pre-mortal world, so they can come down and be amazing like her.

I remember being at the temple a few weeks ago, and I felt closer to her. I know she watches over me. I hope I can make her proud, and she can find peace in knowing that she was a very strong driving force in my life. I’ve told my girlfriend and other friends, I lost a huge part of my heart. But what is loss really? She’s still all around me, watching over me from beyond. She’s still guiding me, I can feel it. I haven’t lost a darn thing. I gained a guardian angel. An angel of Love.

Until I see you again.

I love you Grandma.

Gerald R.

Freewrite (2/23/2015)

So I feel as though as of late, a few of my posts have mainly been freewrites, and thoughts that were on my mind. Though I guess that is the sole purpose of this blog to help, inspire, and educate, according to my personal testimony, and from scriptural references, and conference talks and words of General Authorities past and present.

I started this blog I guess about 2 or 3 months ago, and it’s been awesome, being able to use my gift of writing to influence and help others. All I’ve ever wanted to do is share the gospel. I couldn’t care where I was called, to be honest chances are I would accept just about any calling, but one thing for sure is that I love bearing my testimony. It isn’t always the easiest thing to do, but indeed it is done.

When I look back on my 25 years of existence, I stand amazed I’ve gotten so far. So many times I can recount moments where I should’ve fallen, and never gotten back up. For the most part I’m completely satisfied with my life today. Though I live with the constant mindset there’s always more to be done, compared to a few years ago, I will not complain.

I just pray my moments and lessons I’ve learned can influence someone else to do better!

 

Free Write (2/11/2015)

As most of my regular readers and friends know, I serve in my singles ward as an Assistant Mission Leader. I’m 25 and I’m a convert to the church. I love my calling, and I love serving in the capactiy that the Lord allows. So my calling and situation in my ward is really awesome and I wouldn’t trade it. It allows me to serve others and share the gospel, and seriously quite honestly, what more could you want?

So in January, I decided to do a self assessment of myself, and also after a regularly PPI, or a Personal Priesthood Interview, with a member of the Bishopric. I wanted to better magnify my calling, and do more service and work. I wanted to give more of myself so that I could carry out the Lords plan.

So I decided to get better at reading the scriptures, praying more, and start making it to my meetings on time, no excuses, and go to the temple more regularly.

Well I’ve been doing those things, and I’ve seen the change, and it’s awesome! I see it makes my relationships with people more better, and I just feel so more connected to the spirit, and able to hear it’s promptings so much better.

So Sunday we had the Monthly Stake Missionary Correlation meeting, and we were prompted by the Stake President to begin praying more for opportunities to share the gospel. But not just pray in general, but to pray everyday, and also to share our testimonies>

So usually most people gain full testimonies of things through basic action and reaction. So I took my Stake President’s council on praying for opportunities to share the gospel…

Lo and behold if it didn’t take three days for something to happen and that council to come to pass.

So I get to my office, and sit at my desk and start the daily ritual of turning my computer on and setting up my stuff for work, when a friend of mine who I ahd worked with at a previous job and had went to high school came up to me. HE lifts shows me “The Restoration” pamphlet handed out by every missionary usually on the first visit.

He asked. “this is your church right?”

I quickly replied, “Yeah dude,” At first I thought he had gotten the one I usually leave on my desk, but came to find out he had indeed met with missionaries, who had helped him at a time, referring to them as angelike in their timing and thier service when his car broke down. I was floored. This person is a long time friend, and here he was telling of this powerful experience he had just had. We shared a few more words and then I finished logging in.

Quickly I felt prompted to give him the Book of Mormon I kept in my desk for just this type of sitation. I wasn’t sure if they had given him one, but I decided to take a chance. I held the book in my hand, a little nervous, as anyone is before sharing a big part of their faith. I decided to just do it. I went over to him when I had a little bit of time, and I hadned him the book, explained a little about it, and then he shared he was going to be coming to church next weekend. He’s married so there wouldn’t be a visit to the singles ward. I told him I’d love to go if he’d have me there, and if he had any questions that he could come to me. He was gracious and thanked me.

It was such an extraordiany experience. I have had many missionary opportunities, but it really cemented my testimony on the daily prayer of such opportunities.

Simply put the Lord is going to put those opportunities in front of his disciples when the time is right. Pray for such opportunities, stay versed in the gospel to the ebst of your abilities, and keep yourselves in a lifestyle and mindset to recieve direction and inspiration of the spirit, and you will indeed have the fire and power of Heavenly father, and be a great missionary.

Being a missionary is not just putting on a name tag, as Elder Neil L. Anderson in the April 2013 General Conference talk said-

If you’re not a full-time missionary with a missionary badge pinned on your coat, now is the time to paint one on your heart—painted, as Paul said, “not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God.” And returned missionaries, find your old missionary tag. Don’t wear it, but put it where you can see it. The Lord needs you now more than ever to be an instrument in His hands. All of us have a contribution to make to this miracle” 

We can all be representative of Christ without putting a suit on. In my experiences with sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ, the best missionary work comes from everyday disciples of Christ like you and I. We will see the blessings that come to one’s life when they accept Christ, and we will also feel the joy of missionary work.

I testify as you choose to lift your voice in the name of Jesus Christ that you will be empowered and you will have the Holy Ghost with you to direct your actions in conjunction with God’s plan. I bear my testimony that the gospel is true, and that we can all spread the message of love and salvation in the example of Christ, and we can lead other’s to salvation through our daily actions and words. And I say this in the name of Jesus Christ…

Amen

Freewrite- 1/22/2016 “My Girl”

So most of the time my Blog Posts revolve around things of the spirit, well today I decided to write a free write about something that has brought many blessings to my life. Someone who is selfless, loving, and more caring that anyone I know. That person is my girlfriend Colleen. I chose to write a freewrite on her because If elt the need to recognize all she has been to me in my life for the last 5 years.

Outside of my family I don’t think there’s one person that knows me as well as she wpid-img_20150107_143552.jpgdoes. We met before I joined the LDS church. We met when I was preparing to go play college football at Stevenson. WE started off romantic in the ebginning, and everything seemed so perfect that winter, until an ex of mine told me some information that literally shook my world. Colleen and I ended up just being “Friends”. To most of my friends they swore we were dating… And honestly looking back if you saw us, you’d probably think the same thing. There was just something so magnetic about her.

The two of us spent about 4 or so years during this “friendship” dating other people. We still managed to stay close. That friendship inevitably became a wedge in our wpid-img_20141231_103005.jpgrelationship with others.I don’t regret it in any way, and beleive God had a plan the whole time. In 2014 when my ex broke up with me, I had swore off dating… I had just said I was done with it all, and would rather be on my own. That was until Colleen helped me realize there was indeed hope.

It was around General Conference in April of 2015, when I realized this whole time she had meant so much more. I got so scared. After that last breakup I was scared to take a chance. So I just started feeling the water out… In my mind I hit the reset button and began asking her out on dates. Not as her best guy friend, but as someone looking for more out of the relationship. We got even more closer, and began to groom and nurture that romantic element that had foudn refuge just beneath the surface of our super close friendship.

So we went to Philly on June 14th for my birthday. It was an amazing time. I wpid-20140614_175854.jpgremember just being so excited to be with her. I remember just thinking, we’d hang out literally almost every week for the last 5 or so years, but on that day it was something more, everything started to click, that this was the girl I needed to be with.

So 4th of July came. MY friend and Chris were manning the grill at our Ward’s fourth of july party. I had invited her down, and I was so excited. I remember telling Chris just how I felt, and he pretty much told me what I knew I needed to do, and that was “Make it official”.

I remember when she arrived to the Institute building in College Park where our BBQ wpid-img_20140905_130946.jpgwas being held. she walked up to me, and honestly it was like a movie scene. The sun just shined on her as she carried the container full of mini-sandwiches. Everything just stopped, and I said to myself “That’s my girl…”

Jump Forward today which is a little more than 6 months later, and I swear I haven’t made a better decision in my life. The wpid-20140802_074527.jpgblessing she has brought to me through our friendship and our relationship are so great. Just the happiness I’ve felt is so amazing.

I know there’s the question… “Why didn’t you just date her when you had the first chance..?” I’ll reply with, because I wasn’t matured enough. The type of guy I used to be before the church, and when I was in college wasn’t the type of guy she deserved. I truly beleive she deserved so much better. I think Heavenly Father did a great job grooming me and preparing for the relationship we now share. I know it may not make sense, but if you knew me, you’d know I’m a million times better today that when I was in college.

If you ask any of our friends, you’ll know she’s one of the most selfless, and hardworking people on the face of this planet. And growing up aroudn my mother and my grandmother gave me a view of that same selflessness and caring wpid-img_2894.jpgnature that she possess, and that’s one of the most attractive traits I beleive a woman can have. I mean not only is she beautiful on the outside but she posesses an incredibly beautiful soul.

I don’t know where the future will take us, but I’m hopeful, and I’m happy. And at the end of the day that’s all that matters.

And Now I must make an end to my writing….

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Together