I’ve been hesitating to write this post now for nearly 3 months. Mainly because it pertains to one of the most amazing and loving women to ever grace my life. I was blessed to have known her for the 27 years I did. But let me start from the beginning.
My grandma Geraldine Royster Creasy was what I would describe as a General of Love. If there was an army and it’s sole purpose was to love and help others, then my grandmother would be the general. For my entire life she was so full of life and full of undying love. Even when it wasn’t to her benefit she loved all. It didn’t matter what race, sexual orientation, religion or gender, when you walked through those doors you were family. Many of my friends can lay claim to being an “adopted” grandchild.
She only had one child, that child was my dad. She had him young so she was younger (50s) when I was born. I was named after her. I carry her name with pride. When I was little she taught me how to garden, cook, and various other things I’ve been able to use in my adulthood. I can remember spending the night over her house on weekends, and eating pizza and playing games with her as a little boy. She used to baby sit me after school, and made sure my homework was done, and that I had my after school snack, which usually meant a true lunch because I absolutely hated school food.
When I went to high school I was a little sad that I wasn’t going to be baby sat by her and go to Old Mill High. I’d now have the responsibility of using what I learned to come home, cook my own food and make sure my chores were done before my parents came home from work. But I always called. She became one of my best friends. She believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself, and that continued when I went off to college.
What can I say in college I was a wild one. I spent most of the year partying and doing things I shouldn’t have been doing. About the only thing I cared about was competing in Track and Field and weekend partying, but my grandma judgment free stayed on top of me, and kept me within the grasp of safety. She would warn me against my behavior, and to stay focused. Unfortunately it wasn’t until I came home from school that year and moved in with her that those words made sense. Ultimately those words led me to my faith, and the reformation of my life.
For the last 5 years, I had lived with her. It was a blessing. I got to know her in a different light. She could be sassy, and very upfront, but she did everything with love. From countless Christmas and Thanksgiving dinners, to me sitting on the edge of her bed at night pouring out my heart, my grandma loved me.
Sometimes I find myself regretting not being home more, or just watching one more western with her. I find myself wishing I could just have an hour of her time, or one more fried chicken dinner. Watching our show “Big Brother” sometimes doesn’t seem as fulfilling because she’s not hear to talk smack about the contestants in her Geraldine way.
But one thing is for certain…. I know she’s watching over me. I know she is up there with our family and her husband, and she’s having the time of her life. See I know it was her time. I think in a way I could tell. The seemingly active grandma of my youth was now less active, and more tired. I remember hearing her say she was just “tired” in those last weeks. It hit me my grandma wasn’t young anymore….
I had always dreamed that my children would one day know just how amazing she truly was. That I could repay her for loving by letting her love the product of me. To be a great grandma. I had prayed that one day they would know “grandma” and love grandma the way I loved her. The thought of that not happening deeply saddened me, but I have faith. Faith that somehow up there she’s able to teach them all the qualities of being a strong Royster. All the qualities of being a loving human being. I hope and pray that they will know her in the pre-mortal world, so they can come down and be amazing like her.
I remember being at the temple a few weeks ago, and I felt closer to her. I know she watches over me. I hope I can make her proud, and she can find peace in knowing that she was a very strong driving force in my life. I’ve told my girlfriend and other friends, I lost a huge part of my heart. But what is loss really? She’s still all around me, watching over me from beyond. She’s still guiding me, I can feel it. I haven’t lost a darn thing. I gained a guardian angel. An angel of Love.
Until I see you again.
I love you Grandma.